The joys of motherhood part deuce

This morning we arrived at daycare with pancakes in hand. I was bracing myself for the battle of wills to follow. But, Cole was so excited he had pancakes. He rushed in to tell his teacher, sat down at the table and poured his syrup and began eating. A sweet, sticky kiss and I was on my way to work. I smelled the hint of syrup on and off through the day and would smile when I thought of him.
After work, I rushed to pick him up. I have recently began working out (too many years of letting myself go and putting myself last). I already feel guilty that he spends at least 9-10 hours in daycare a day. Now, I pick him up and he spends an hour at the gym daycare. More guilt...the last few weeks I have repeatly informed the nagging inner guilty voice in my head that this hour of sacrifice on both our parts will make me a better mom. Anyhow...most workouts are interrupted by the gym daycare teacher coming to get me because he needs to go potty and only wants me. I rush red face and sweaty into the room to find he has already gone potty and is just waiting in the bathroom for me. I try to pry myself and promise him I'll be done soon and go back and finish. Tonight, I was twenty minutes into a workout and they came to get me. He had just finished going potty and did not want me to leave. I told him I would be back soon, but he fell on the floor and grasped onto my leg. No amount of convincing would work. I HATE these scenes...it is like a movie everyone goes quiet and turns to stare. Cole's favorite thing to do when we get home is watch JO-JO (a cartoon) while I feed the animals, etc. Once, I pried him from my leg I again tried to reason with him. Finally, I said that if he didn't stop screaming we were going to leave and when we got home no TV. He screamed louder. So, I gathered my screaming kid and went home. The entire way he cried. I am so frustrated and was almost in tears myself when we came home. No mother wants to make their child cry. I already feel soooo guilty and I know he only wanted to spend time with me. I felt like such an awful parent. However, I do stick to what I say and when we got home, there was no TV. After bath, he said sorry and I asked him why and he said because "he screamed at mommy and didn't listen to her words." I hope thing will get easier with time. Luckily, he doesn't do this too often. He will not act like this for months and then will have several bad days. Luckily, he doesn't hold a grudge (at least not yet) and was all hugs and kisses before bed.