I'm done!!!!.....almost

Today is a good day. This was my last day of classes this semester. I only have 1 final left that I'll take in a few weeks. What a whirlwind!

These last few weeks have been a blur. I've felt like such a bad mom, because I had to tell Cole so many times that I couldn't do something with him, because I was so busy. He's so sweet though. At one point, I was apologizing to him for this and he said, "Don't worry, you're doing just right for me!" I did carve out some time each night and we did something fun for a few hours on Saturday and Sunday, at least.

Today when I picked him up from school and reminded him this was my last day he said, "Yeah, that means more time for Colebug!" We are going to a play on campus Saturday night for "date night".

As much as I hated deadlines and late nights of homework, I'll probably be bored until summer school starts, because I'm so used to being busy.

Life advice from Cole

Cole: Mom, when I grow up and get tall you need to get a new husband.

Me: Why would I need a husband?

Cole: Because you'd be lonely.

Me: I don't think I'll ever be married again, besides who'd want to marry me?

Cole: Just kiss them on the lips and they'll marry you...but that's gross

Me: Cole, someday you'll have a girlfriend and you'll kiss her on the lips

Cole: Ewwwww.....And then I'll marry her and have kids

Me: Can I babysit for you when you have kids?

Cole: Yeah, but I'm going to have like 15, can you babysit 15 kids?

Me: That's a lot of kids, like a whole T-ball team

Cole: Yeah, I'm going to make her change the diapers

Me (laughing): No, I bet you'll be a good dad. What do you want your wife to be like?

Cole: One who will be pretty and look good naked!

Me: HAAAAHHHAHHHAHHHAHHHAHHHAHHHAHHHAHHHA

Birthday Recap

Cole has officially been "6" for two whole days now. He had a great birthday, plus my grandma flew in for his big day.

The morning of his birthday, I took him to breakfast before school. I had to make a quick stop at HEB to pick up a veggie tray for work and he showed me all the things he can do better now that he is "6". He could walk "faster" and he was "stronger" because the veggie tray was much "heavier" when he was "5". I dropped him and his cupcakes off at school and his friends were so excited to see him. After school, we headed to my brother's work for dinner. Finally it was time for presents. He got everything he wanted and more. He was very happy to get the fish tank that he'd been wanting.

Saturday afternoon he had his birthday part at Chuck E. Cheese. He had a wonderful time! This is the best turn-out he'd ever had. He couldn't stop talking about all his "best friends" that came to his party. Thanks to everyone who made his day so special!

In case you were wondering, no call from his dad. It's officially been over a year now. No gift either, although I wasn't expecting one since he hasn't given him a birthday gift on his own ever. The year we were separated he came to the party empty handed and once he moved to NY, nada and nada. Again I'm humbled and grateful to everyone who shares in my love of Cole so that he doesn't feel the absence of his dad.

Hell week is almost over

This morning around 1:30am, I was asking myself why the hell I was taking 18 hours this semester. These last few weeks have been major crunch time and this week was the worst. I had projects and research papers due in mass.

Today we had a group project presentation that was really stressing me out. We had to teach an entire 1 1/2 hr college class, complete with 4 workshops. I hate group work. Because I'm me, I also end up being the one coordinating everything and everyone, this was no exception. I was so stressed out last night, I felt like I was going to self-destruct. After wrapping all my other assignments up and rehearsing my speech, I turned off the light around 2am. Then of course I couldn't sleep. URGGHH! 5:30 came way to early this morning. Of course it was pouring this morning and I had to make the long drive to campus in the rain and then slog across campus loaded down like a pack-mule.

Things are looking up now, though. We made it through our presentation and got rave reviews from our Professor. The sun came up. There are only two weeks of school left. Most importantly tomorrow is the birthday of the most important person in my life. Happy Birthday Cole!

More good news, I got the grades back from the dreaded practice exam and I passed both sections! The one section that they say most people don't pass the first time, I did exceptionally well. I feel much better about taking the final tests this summer! Off to go wrap b-day gifts.

Distractions

The weather is too nice and there is too much to do...I don't want to do homework :-(

It is major crunch time at school and I have a lot of projects to start, work on, and wrap up. I needed to dedicate my weekend to homework, but I didn't.

Last night we went to a co-workers b-day party. I had RSVP'd "no", but she convinced me to go at the last minute, by saying I could bring Cole and that Vetmommy's kids would be there too! We had a great time. She had balloons, a pinata, silly string, etc. It was a kid's dream come true. It was nice to have a little fun. I'm glad we went.

Today was beautiful. We ran some errands and then Cole had t-ball practice, then we came home and did some spring planting. We had way more fun that sitting in front of a computer writing a research paper and lesson plans would allow. So now, I need to get busy...I'm in for a long night!

We need to get out more

I think that Cole and I need to get out more...without each other. Last night my dad said that he could get two tickets to Saturday night's Longhorn baseball game for him and Cole. My first thought wasn't "YIPEEE...a kid free night!" It was, "Oh, no...what am I going to do without Cole?" When Cole found out tonight that two tickets mean't I wasn't going he was very sad. He finally said that he will go on a "man date" with his Papa. Now I need to decide what I'm going to do, maybe I'll shop for his birthday...lame I know....but that's how I roll. (Did I just say "that's how I roll?...yup...taking a walk on the wild side).

That has gotta hurt!

Don't worry....the darts shoved UP Cole's nose are magnetic tipped. Don't try this at home!

We had a nice Easter. Cole woke up and hunted for his Easter eggs and enjoyed his basket. We then took the kite the "Easter Bunny" brought him to the park for a picnic. It was a beautiful day to be out enjoying nature.

I've got a lot of homework done and Cole's b-day invitations finished. Now it's time for some relaxing!

Good News

Cole has lost another tooth! His tooth has been hanging on by a thread for days. On Sunday after every bite of lunch (with his mouth still full) he made me check to see if his tooth was still there. Last night before bed it was still there. This morning, I forgot to check until we were waiting outside for the bus and it was gone! Cole was so excited...until he realized he probably swallowed it AGAIN! He wanted to go back in and check his bed, but I promised him we'd do it when we got home. No tooth...he must have swallowed it eating breakfast this morning. Only my child could swallow two teeth! The "tooth fairy" still left him some money. Isn't she sweet.

We had some other good news today. My mom called me at work because she had looked at my bank account (she works at my Credit Union) and I had received a $1500 child support payment. Since I hadn't received any notification that he was employed I was surprised. I called the AG and they said they had received an "Involuntary payment" that was a "garnishment" (most likely his tax return). You can run, but you can't hide. They still have no record of an employer. I bet that was an unpleasant surprise for him. I don't really think he hasn't been working since September, he's probably working for cash. In a few weeks (on Cole's b-day) it will make exactly a year since he has called Cole, wonder if he'll call now?

Batter bat

So T-ball season has started again. Cole is really starting to get a better grasp of what is going on, he's still a total goof ball of course. I'd expect nothing less of a five (almost six...yikes) year-old. He has a really great coach this time. Very upbeat, enthusiastic, and ORGANIZED. The best part is that he really looks out for the boys. Last fall, Cole got whacked in the head by a kid swinging the bat and that kinda of stuff continued all year. Between that and the CRAZY team mom, we were happy when fall ball ended. This coach has clear rules and is very observant. He's perfect for the boys. This is also the most involved the parents have been. It's great to see all the dads (and a few moms) working with the boys.

They had their first game last night. I think the boys were more excited about their new uniforms and hats than anything else! I cracked up when a dad that I know from Cole's Extend-A-Care whose son is on an opposing team was there with another dad "scouting" out the other T-ball teams. It's T-ball, not the majors. I had fun ribbing these dads. At least they had enough sense of humor to be a little sheepish.

***I had already posted this blog and then read my e-mail. Cole's coach has created a team BLOG! What a great idea, don't you think? I love technology.

The Party's Over

What a whirlwind of a week. Cole and I were both on spring break. I still worked my normal "work" days, but took Tuesday and Thursday off to be with Cole. On Tuesday we made our annual trip to the Star of Texas Fair and Rodeo. We had a great time seeing the animals and riding the rides. I love to watch Cole riding the roller coasters, he is truly my son. We just both laugh hysterically the entire time. It had rained the entire day before the rodeo, so we wore our rain boots since I knew we'd be walked through mud (and who knows what else). I think that was Cole's favorite part. Actually being allowed to stomp through water and mud...a boy's dream! We played some games and came home with armfuls of stuffed animals!

On Thursday we cleaned and reorganized his room, which was surprisingly fun and rewarding. Then we headed of to the bowling alley. We played four games and I could barely use my hand later that day.

It was great spending some quality time with him, I'm going to miss spring break.

Saturday we had an open house at my work. We have been planning every detail for months! It was so much fun. The employees were so good at talking about what they do and showing people around. We had food, live music, face painting, free stuff, and (stuffed) Animal ER. Cole had lent some of his stuffed animals for demo. His giant Scooby was having an exploratory surgery, one of his dogs had teeth inserted for a day and was having a dental, a tiger was getting x-rays, and some dogs and cats were in the kennels for a day-stay. Fun was had by everyone!

Now it's back to the normal life. Luckily there are only six more weeks of school left for me...until summer school.

Kids stilts

What kind of hormones are they putting in the milk these days? Cole has aged overnight. HA!

Cole put on this fake mustache tonight that he got from a vending machine. He looked in my rear view mirror and said, "Now do I look like a Time Warner Cable guy?" I started laughing, I don't even know what he was referencing. He proceeded to wear it into HEB. He was holding my hand and enjoying the smiles he was getting. He looked at me and said," You know, they probably think that I'm your husband on kid stilts or I'm walking on my knees." God, I love kids!

I wear my sunglasses at night.

Just because I need a homework break...here is a photo from Cole the other night. I went in to check on him and here is how I found him sound asleep in bed.

From 60 to zero in 1 weekend

I hit a brick wall this weekend. It was a bad weekend to crash, full of homework and work obligations. I started feeling sick on Friday and by Saturday was running 102 degree fever. After working on Saturday I slept, and slept, and slept. I got up Sunday to attempt my work obligations but could barely swallow and was sent home after and hour or so. After starting on antibiotics, I've slept and slept. Guess I needed some rest! I already had a vacation day planned for Monday to catch up on homework that I wouldn't finish since I was working all weekend. I slept most of Monday too! I had to go to Cole's parent-teacher conference. It's hard to be present and make relatively normal conversation when you are sick and foggy-headed.

Today, I feel better. No more fever, just a chesty cough and runny nose. I went to school and will have to work double-time to catch up on homework. No more rest for me!

Different worlds

I'm interning at a Pre-K this semester. The children all are either from low income families or have special needs. Most of these kid's stories break my heart. Most of them come from good homes, just homes without a lot of resources. Some come from homes, where sadly they aren't a priority. The school actually takes parents to court to make them take their kids to school. It's hard as a mother for me to look at these kids with their sparklingly personalities and dirty clothes and not want to take them all home with me.

Even though I'm a single-parent, I've had the benefits of an education and family and support system to help me through lean times. One of the differences between my world and theirs came out today.

I was playing on the playground today with some of the kids and one of the kids said, "Let's pretend there are cops coming!" "Quick, hide your stuff!" "RUN!" "RUN!" I looked up in shock and started to laugh. One of the boys turned to me and said, "Mees QUITE! or the cops will hear you!" It was funny but heartbreakingly sad at the same time. Cole plays games where cops are the good guys and these kids already see them as the enemy.

I grabbed a football and we quickly changed games. I see a lesson plan on "heros" in our community in the very near future.

Some people!

Today was a beautiful day. We headed out to run some errands before I came home to work on homework. At the last store, we parked and were walking through the parking lot. My mom was walking in front of us and I was behind her with Cole on my back. A car started to whip into the parking spot we were walking in, my mom stepped back bumping into the truck next to her. The lady driving the car sees us and still keeps pulling into the space, now causing us to squeeze flat against the truck. My mom shoots the lady a look as we try to scoot by without getting run over. The woman has the audacity to roll down her window and shout, "IS THERE A PROBLEM?" I turned my head and said, "Yes, you almost just ran us over." She shouted "BITCH!" I couldn't believe it. Here we almost just got hit and now she is yelling obscenities at us, in front of a child. Because of who I am and because of Cole, we just walked into the store. We couldn't believe that on top of everything else, she would talk that way in front of a child.

I have certainly not seen someone while driving a time or two and when I've noticed my error, I have given the "I'm so sorry" wave. I've definitely never been so rushed that I would continue on my way irregardless of people and be angry at them to boot.

On the way back to our car, her car was still in the same place. I wrote her a note to put on her windshield that said "Nice language in front of a five-year-old. Classy!" It was the nicest thing I could think of saying to this rude, thoughtless and impatient woman.

Children are sponges

Children are amazing creatures. They soak up everything around them. Even when they seem oblivious to the world and the people around them, they are watching and learning....especially the language they hear. They pick up new words, bad words, silly phrases and expressions that they usually don't get quite right.

The school system has "helped" Cole unleash a torrent of funny words and phrases. This week, Cole's new word is "nuts"....as in testicles. Since he was an infant Cole has always peed in the tub as soon as he gets in (gross I know). Last night he looked down as he was peeing and said, "You know, I think my nuts are allergic to water! When the water hits them, it makes my pee come out." The thought process alone was funny. I asked him where he heard that word he said, "Xavier". He also said, Xavier taught him "Wedgie". Isn't our social education priceless?

And the reality sets in...

Both Tuesday and Thursday I was on campus for around 13 hours. I'm already stressed out and tired. Thursday night we had mandatory student teacher round-up. We learned everything we needed to know about student teaching, the application process, and our state board exams. It was great information, but I felt even more anxious after the meeting. I have so many decisions and deadlines to meet!

The way that student teaching works is that you get to select your top two areas that you want your name sent to. There is no priority for grades, etc. There are around 500 student teachers EVERY semester, it is truly a lottery. You do not have to choose the district that you want to teach in, but it's always helpful. I was 100% certain of the district I wanted to teach in, so I was going to make this my priority one selection. The only problem is that there are "areas" not districts and the areas may or may not include more than 1 district. The district that I want is included with a district that I REALLY don't want. I could roll the dice and hope that I get the district I want, but there are no guarantees. I'm not a gambler, plus things rarely go my way. So now I have a big decision to make, one that could help or hinder my future...no pressure really. I've knocked around my choices with some friends and feel a little better. I have by next Friday to submit my application, so I better decide fast. Once you are selected you have to accept your district and grade level assigned (we have no choice) or start the entire process over next semester.

I'm becoming more nervous about not having a paycheck for the first time since I was 16, finding a teaching job mid-year. I'm both scared and nervous about quitting my job. I've been there almost 9 years. I've gotten married, had a kid, been divorced and had many highs and lows...it's my security blanket. I'm ready to detach myself but equally afraid of what's to come. I'm a planner, I hate the unknown. I really feel like I'm taking such a huge step. Keep your fingers crossed.

Punxsutawney Phil

Cole's class has been learning about "Groundhog Day". He has been very excited (not as excited as seeing Jupiter and Venus in the morning sky, but close). Saturday morning he couldn't wait to see if the groundhog saw his shadow. When he learned that he had, he sighed and said, "Man, six more weeks of winter!" Someone, forgot to tell ol' Punxsutawney Phil about central Texas though, because it was warm this weekend. So warm that Cole wore shorts and the AC is on tonight.

We had a good weekend in spite of the warm temps. We shopped for my mom's birthday, made her a cake, and spent time just hanging out. I have done a lot of homework, but I've mostly worked in the evenings after Cole has gone to bed. I have a lot of stuff due, but I'm taking one assignment at a time and completing projects early, so I don't get too overwhelmed.

Tonight after Cole's bedtime story we worked on his karate "creed" that he has to memorize. It's pretty long. Part I states, "I must develop myself in a positive manner and avoid anything that would reduce my mental growth or my physical health." Or as Cole says it, "I must develop myself in a positive manner and avoid anything that would reduce my mental growf or my physical healf."

Child labor laws

Cole loves to "help" when I clean the house. With his help it only takes me twice as long :-) He actually does a pretty good job. Tonight he helped me empty all the trash. He cleaned both bath tubs, sinks, and scrubbed the toliets. He looks very cute scrubbing with his oversized rubber gloves and his face wrinkled in concentration. I'm pretty sure that he has already cleaned more toliets than my 30 year-old brother! Cole even did some of the vacuuming tonight. Boy, I wish I still thought cleaning was fun.

By the way I found our missing SS cards tonight! I dropped my cell phone between my car seats and reached my fingers down to grab it and came up with our cards! I knew they would turn up when I didn't need them. It always kills me that you can look somewhere a million times and not find something and then the next time it suddendly appears. Arrrghh! At least I have Cole's again and this time I will put them in a very safe place.

Purgatory

If there is hell on Earth, I think maybe I have found it. For one of my classes I need my social security card, no problem right? I keep my card and Cole's together, the only problem is that when I went to get them out, they are both missing. I've torn my things apart but can't find them. I'm sure they will turn up eventually, but I need mine by next Tuesday. With my crazy school/work schedule the only free time I had to get new cards was two hours this morning.

Last night I printed out the forms I needed and gathered the required paperwork that was listed online. This morning in the freezing, foggy weather I headed to the local social security office to get replacement cards. Of course, it was rush-hour traffic that moved at a snail's pace. Once there, I stepped through the gates of hell. I checked in and got the number A66, they were on 21 when I arrived. The lobby was full and there was almost no where to sit to begin the long wait. They had plenty of windows to serve people, but most where closed and the remaining ones that were open weren't moving very fast. Plus, the office had only been open and hour, but the kept closing remaining windows so people could take a breaks. I watched one unfriendly clerk after another provide "service" to the waiting public. Over an hour later and they still were on A41....grrrr. Another hour later when they finally called my name, I hurried to the window and gave a smile and said "hello".... the unfriendly zombie never looked my way. She literally snatched the paperwork from my hand. She never once looked at me or said a word. She typed my information into her computer. I kept looking at her, waiting for horns to sprout from her head, fire to come out of her mouth, or her head to spin around and spew green bile. Letting out a big sigh, she got up from her desk to retrieve a form from the printer and tossed it on the desk for me to sign. When I told her that I still needed to get a card for my son, she pushed his birth certificate back to me and told me they can't use those. What? I said on-line it said to bring it, but she said that isn't true anymore. She really needed a picture ID....for a five-year-old? Now I have to call his doctor's office to have them write a letter with his date of birth and etc. to give the the SS office. No more trips to the SS office for me, I will be mailing Cole's request in... As I stood up to leave, she said my card would be in the mail in 7-10 days and to make sure I "don't lose this one". Gee thanks for the advice, friendly SS clerk. Have a great day.

I will add SS office worker to my list of jobs I would NEVER do....like bill collecting. What job would you never do?