Father Time

My grandparents are in town and we just finished our early Christmas gift exchange. Cole had a wonderful time, watching his face light up at each and every gift is truly what the spirit of the holidays are to me. Clothes, toys it doesn't matter he is truly delighted with every package. With each passing year he has become more excited and awed by Christmas, this is the first year he has really had the most understanding of Santa and had the most anticipation.

Sadly, with each passing year we've had to watch my grandfather appear more isolated and frail. He has Alzheimers, it's a word never once uttered by my grandmother. My grandfather has always been a slight built man, but the last several years he has become gaunt. He literally is skin and bones, he cheek bones are prominent leaving his face looking hallow. His once sparkling cornflower blue eyes most times appear vacant. He still has moments of spark and whit but mostly just sleeps or stares off into space. He still knows who we are, but has virtually withdrawn from all conversation. When he asks a question, he asks it repeatedly which we all answer with patience.

My grandfather has always been special to me. In fact his name is Robert which is Cole's middle name, that's how much he has meant to me. He is a remarkable man. He came from an extremely poor family with alcoholic abusive parents, spent time in an orphanage. He was a very hard worker, very intelligent and quick witted especially for someone who didn't have a lot of opportunities in life. He was amazingly artistic. He could draw, paint, and carve wonderful things out of a block of wood. Most of my most cherished memories involve sitting around watching him whittle, the wood chips flying, and watching in amazement as a character or animal appeared out of that block. He hasn't really carved in years.

The passage of time has been hard to watch. He has smoked since his teens and has emphysema, most of the time he doesn't remember to smoke now, except for when my grandma reminds him to so he can get some exercise????? His lungs wrattle even while resting and the slightest physical activity causes his chest to rise and fall in an alarming rate. The scariest thing to me is that he still drives. I am so scared that he will either be in a wreck or accidentally kill or injure someone else. I'm sure the thought of someone who had once been so strong is hard for my grandmother to face. My mom repeatedly asked my grandmother to ask his doctor about driving. When she finally did he asked my grandmother about his driving and she admitted that he doesn't know where to turn or gets lost (they have lived in the same house since my mom was a young child) but she said she tells him when to turn and he does so. So the doctor said, sounds like he is okay to drive to me! WHAT???? Besides her telling is usually yelling and if he is in the left lane and she yells to turn right, he will immediately turn the wheel right and go across the lanes of traffic. I know an elderly person losing their driving rights is a touchy subject and can be very demoralizing, but there has to be a line drawn somewhere. I really think my grandparents should really be referred to a geriatric specialist to get better information and advice.

I know time brings a lot of wonderful things into our lives, but it also brings a lot of sadness. Meanwhile I will hold onto my wonderful memories of my grandpa to pass onto Cole.