This morning as I was getting ready for work, Cole came sleepily walking past me and mumbled "I had a dream about my new great Dad...can I take a bath?". I didn't ask any questions and ran him an early morning bath.
On the way to work he again mentioned he had a dream. He said he had a dream about his "new great dad. He was tall, not like my old dad. He was nice, not like my old dad, he was funny, not like my old dad, he liked to see me, not like my old dad. He calls me Cole Littlebrother because he thinks it's funny. You were in the dream too, you were laughing because my new dad is funny."
I was thinking, OMG if he says "he loves me, not like my old dad" I'm going to break down driving down the road. As it was, I was tearing up and since I was driving and I couldn't wrap my arms around him, I awkwardly snaked one arm around the seats and stroked his ankle, which was the only skin I could reach. We are like Humpty Dumpty, just trying to put the pieces back together again.
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4 comments:
At least he knows what he wants. Maybe you should go out there and try to find this great new dad... he could be good for you, too. Any single T-ball coaches on the radar?
It will take time to "put the pieces back together again" and this "new great dad" will be there for you and Cole E Bug. Take this time to do what you need to do and the rest will fall into place when your ready.
Just wanted to say hey. "Luna" got me reading this.
It's nice to see someone that is obviously in love with their child (like we're supposed to be): not so nice that his father is missing the greatest thing he could ever have.
It probably means nothing since you do not know me, but I admire what you are doing.
Hey...maybe Cole is having a premonition. He is Native, you know, they have all kinds of spiritual connections. I know you're not looking, but the really great men pop up just when they are least expected and in the least likely places. All I'm saying is, if one day you feel something...don't ignore it just because your past experience has been crap. You just never know.
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