Judgement

We all judge other people. We may not like to admit it but we do. It might be based on their clothes, their car, they way they speak, or the color of their skin but we do judge them.

There is a girl in three of my classes that sits next to me. She is a single parent and lives in Austin. The first ten minutes of the first day of class she wanted my phone number, e-mail address, and wanted to arrange car pooling. I agreed to the first two, but politely declined the last offer. As the days of school have turned into weeks, she has shared more and more of her life (without any prompting on my part - I assure you). Each morning is a monologue of how horrible her weekend or evening was, etc. Her son is 5 and in kindergarten which her mom takes to school everyday. She is divorced and the dad pays child support and has custody every other weekend, which he sticks to religiously (which irritates her, ironically). She has a boyfriend, they haven't been dating long, don't live together and she is pregnant with his kid. To date they haven't discussed any plans for becoming a family. Today she went on and on about her life and I can't help but judge her. I don't want to, but I was. I can't help but compare us. She was complaining about being tired and the girl that sits next to us and also hears the stories, said she didn't know how we go to school and are parents. She takes 8 hours and works part-time and is exhausted. The "monologue girl", said well I'm taking 8 hours and don't work and can barely stand it. She went off in a tirade about how her mom and friends say that she should work so she has some money. The other girl said if you don't work at all, how do you live? She said off child support. She lives in a government assisted housing project, has Medicaid, food stamps and financial aid and now about to have another child. When the other girl asked me how much I work and how many hours I'm taking (full-time and 15 hours) she just exchanged a glance with me over "monologue girl". Later in the morning, when "monologue girl" was complaining again about not having any money, the other girl asked why doesn't she move in with her mom, stating it would be easier on her to have some support and her mom who is shuttling the kid back and forth. She went on another tirade about how she tried living at home and would get into huge fights with her mom, because her mom didn't like how she disciplined her kid. When the other girl asked, what you mean she said "you know like if I spank or slap at him." When she saw us again exchanging glances, she turned to me and said, "What you don't spank your son?" giving me an incredulous look. I said, "No, I never have." She said, "Never? You mean you have never once whacked his hand with a brush to get his attention or spanked his bottom?" Again, "No". Before anymore 'sharing' could begin we were saved by the start of our last morning class together. So, yes I do judge her, I admit it. I'm sure I will the rest of the semester, since we have damn assigned seats.