Blogging break....down

It seems like everyone has taken a break from blogging. It's just that time of year. 101 degree days, no rain, and the final weeks of summer before school begins.

I haven't written in awhile, because I've been depressed and busy. My last few weeks of summer have been filled with endless nights of packing, sorting, donating, and disposing. It's amazing to me how much different this move is for both Cole and I. Neither one of us missed a beat last year when we moved from our house with Randy to one of our own. This move has been much more difficult in some ways. Deciding to leave Randy was a long process, where this move seems sudden. Plus, this oddly enough, is much worse for my ego. Cole has had a more difficult time, as well. He's a year older and much more aware of changes, plus giving up Bullet was difficult. We have our routine and any variation is sure to cause him some confusion. This will be a rough month. We are moving this weekend, I start classes next week, I leave next weekend for 5 days for CE and that's the longest we will have to be apart. When I get back, I have to finish cleaning this place and then my grandparents will be in town. That makes my mom, dad, Cole, me and my grandparents all under one roof. SCARY! My poor parents will REALLY miss their quite solitude!

Over all, I'm feeling better about the move. I'm trying to focus on the positive aspects. Like paying off debt, saving money, potentially having the freedom to go to school full-time and the ability to let my guard down and little and have some help with Cole. I'm looking forward to being able to walk or jog alone or maybe even run an errand or two!

Some days you just need affirmation to refocus on your goals. Today when I picked Cole up from his Pre-K class, I just sat and watched the class be so absorbed and focused on his teacher. I wattch them dance and play with imaginary instruments. Just sitting there watching those rapt and eager faces reminded me again why I want to teach. When you are trying to balance so much in your personal life and go to school, the focus becomes blurry. When I was still trying to decided to move home or not, my mom gave me some good advice. She said, you can do what is easier for your now (which was staying in this house) which might not be the right decision for your future. Or you can make a harder decision to sacrifice now, but achieve your goals sooner (finishing school and getting a house). That was the final advice I needed to make up my mind. I really want to teach (you know..Actual children, not adult children). I want to have more time to spend with Cole. If I continue to live my life without making any changes, I will continue to struggle, in all honesty I probably would give up my dream to teach, because I would never have the financial freedom to student teach, plus taking two classes a semester sure can drag out a degree plan.

So, armed with the renewed focus on my goal derived from Cole's classmates, I picked myself back up. Decided to make some time for fun. Cole and I have been needing some recently. We went to the pool. I forget how using your imagination with a child can make the doldrums of your "real" life slip away. See why I want to teach, I can escape every day and get paid (not well, mind you) for it.